Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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