blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize