I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
