While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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