Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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