I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
