Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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