Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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