This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
