Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
