he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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