what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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