me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
