Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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