called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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