the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently the secret to your success is patron
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
