is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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