Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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