I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think i have herpe
just one?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
