you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
