i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
