i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
