Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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