So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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