my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
