Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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