i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
