Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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