Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize