After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
