real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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