remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
