I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
