Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
