I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
