just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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