Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
