i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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