Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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