I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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