just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Congratulations! We have a period
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