The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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