I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What drink are we having for lunch?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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