dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
