and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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