The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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