Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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