all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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