He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
