someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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