her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
