you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
