I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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