onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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