White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
