I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize