just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
