if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
