tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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