I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
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