Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
