I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
