Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
