this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
