gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
