***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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