those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
