I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
