Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
