Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize