You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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