Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
