The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
